Retired People Are Suprisingly Open Minded

Would you think to take your 80 something folks or grandparents to a Mexican restaurant to celebrate Cinco de Mayo? That's exactly what we did, and it turned out to be a really fun experience not only for them, but for us and the restaurant we chose for an early dinner.

That is not to imply that ordering elaborate ethnic cuisine was easy for them in the type of restaurant where our 87 year old parents had never before set foot. They did order hamburgers, but that's not the point.  Once our food had come, they were very interested to see what we had.  In fact, they asked to try our food as it looked so good.  In the grand scheme of things, they were converted into Mexican food-lovers after the ice was broken into this whole new eating world!

In the spirit of the holiday, both parents played along with a sense of adventure.  Mexican beer was an easy switch for them.  Wearing the huge sombreros, though, I was surprised that they actually WANTED to wear them!  Light-up beer necklaces, ponchos for their beer bottles.... well, you get the picture!  

Before limiting what you "think" your gracefully-aging parent will or won't do, try it and you might all be surprised just how happy they are to expand their horizons.  I know these two sure liked it!

Studying the foreign menu carefully trying to figure out something he can recognize. Note the serious expression.

Both of these two dug right into the chips and salsa.  The beans and rice were also devoured with pleasure.

What started out as a really different experience for them turned out to be... well.... facebook page-worthy for the restaurant!  These faces were the Cinco de Mayo fans of the day for this restaurant!

 

29 Activity Ideas for the Elderly - They Like Change, Too

When most think of entertainment, meals, or gifts for their elderly parents they tend to gravitate towards something familiar, tried and true.  My siblings are included.  What I came to realize as I injected the things I liked to do into my visits with the parents was that we were all having fun instead of just making the obligatory, heavy, typical visit.  No one really wants to visit their parents if it always the same old thing.  By incorporating activities into the visits our parents were stimulated, engaged, and mentally healthier making each visit unique and memorable for all of us.

Being the youngest of the family and most free-spirited, I never bought into the idea of familiar when it came to my Dad.  It is really surprising how much the older generation of today enjoys change; something different.  My sweet in-laws are no different.

Here are a few of the ideas that were tossed out to them and were heartily embraced, all of which were done after the age of 80.  The siblings were in shock that their parents were still very much alive and young at heart, engaged in their own lives! 

• Wearing denim shorts for the first time in 30 years.
• My Dad wanted to shop for clothes for the first time in his life.
• Wine tasting at multiple wineries for wines they never sampled before.
• Eating humus, creme' brulee', and Mexican food for the first time.
• Diving into Thai food for the first time.
• A weekend roadtrip to go to a festival.
• Visiting museums that they had driven past for decades.
• Me and a few sibs took my Dad to Hooters and The Tilted Kilt after my mother passed away. 
• Colored Easter Eggs.
• Help bake Christmas cookies all day.
• Brewery tour and tasting.
• Wrap gifts.
• Attend a professional sporting event.
• Tailgate.
• Crashed a birthday party.
• Get an email address and learn to use a computer and iPad.
• Take photos for the first time in 50 years.
• Ride a rollercoaster and water rides.
• Gamble.
• Watch a drag show in Las Vegas.
• Go to a comedy club.
• Receive a professional shoulder massage for the first time.
• Take them to an adult gameroom.
• Shoot pool.
• Pick apples at an orchard.
• Walk through a woods at a leisurely pace.
• Shop for a new car.
• Shop for a new house or apartment.
• Go to see a movie at a theater.

What ideas have you done with your parents that is unexpected and out of the box of a typical elderly person's day?   I would love to learn what you do that inspires you and your aging parents!

Retro, Nostalgic Birthdays for the Elderly

Last year, when it came to a low-cost, meaningful birthday for Mom-in-law's 86th, I chose to harken back to the days of my youth and relived what I would do if I was a kid to celebrate a birthday.

I went to a party store and bought several feet of table paper covering (I chose green since that is Mom's favorite color).  Mustering my inner amateur artist I proceeded to make a giant "Happy Birthday Mom" sign that would cover a fence that Mom sees when she looks out her kitchen window.

In the week before her birthday I asked her what her favorite all-time cake was. She gladly replied that her fave was one she made for years but hadn't made it for many years.  She then promptly pulled out her recipe to share.  I took a picture of that recipe so I could make that cake as a birthday cake.  Her daughters live in other states so, really, she didn't have the benefit of enjoying holidays or birthdays with the special attention that a mother deserves, so I took it upon myself to make up for lost time.  My in-laws are SO good to me (us).  They so crave time and attention that they simply are game for anything at all that we plan for them.  This leaves us lots of room for creativity for planning days in, or days out on roadtrips.  We are also very lucky that both of them are healthy and mobile well into their 80's.

December is a cold month here in Wisconsin but we still proceeded to cooked some simple food on the grill outside as the main dish and served it with her favorite chilled red moscoto wine. Grilling outside reduces the cleanup and dishes.

As several of us gathered around to celebrate, Mom was in heaven with a day built around some of her fondest memories!

For the sign, all I needed was an ultra-thick sharpie, 15' of paper table covering, and a staple gun. That's it!

By the way, no one cares if your sign isn't perfect. In fact, the less perfect it is the more endearing it becomes because it shows that you proceeded to put effort into something for them that was not necessarily your strong suit.  You have nothing to loose so go ahead - channel your creative goddess and write your message big and bold!  You will be rewarded with heartfelt smiles and a happy visiting session for the occasion.

 

Veteran's Day for an Octogenarian

Creating a reason to have a theme day is half of the fun when visiting the elderly.  Anything out of the ordinary puts them in a good mood and stimulates their mind, which leads to overall better well-being.

For our Dad we chose to make a big deal out of Veteran's Day in honor of serving our country. 

We created an invitation and mailed it to them a few days before with all the details of date and time so that they had the visual reminder. Next, we gathered red, white, and blue decorations, plates and cups so that dishes could be tossed instead of washed.  A couple of balloons were picked up on the way to their house as the centerpiece.  Finally, upon arrival, we dug out Mardi Gras beads we bought for the parents while in New Orleans on a previous trip. His were beads sporting the American Flag. Hers was a necklace featuring the good, old fashioned Wisconsin dairy cow.  Upon our arrival we discovered that they dressed themselves in the theme, too! That tells me they were looking forward to spending the day and were thing creatively; their minds were in gear and were stimulated!

Finally, a brunch included ham and home made waffles with strawberries, which, of course, fit with the color scheme of Americana.  The theme had Dad talking about his days in the Army as a hospital chief and we learned new things about his early life.  This was a visit that was different from the rest and that was the entire point. All had a good time.

Fat Saturday Celebration With The Elderly

Since we really love New Orleans we chose to create another theme day for the parents.  We could not be with them on Fat Tuesday, so we brought Fat Saturday to their home.

It started with a mailed invitation during the week describing the date, time, and theme of the day.  The invitation was on a piece of regular copy paper. Next, I used Microsoft Word to just add purple and black lettering with the pertinent details of the day.  Then, I added some stickers from the craft store with a New Orleans theme to complete the look.  Folded, addressed, and mailed, this invitation was sent to them at the beginning of the week so they could have several days to look forward to the day.

The night before the celebration I made a big pot of hot and spicy chicken and shrimp gumbo from a recipe that came from Chef Jon Besh. Click HERE to view the recipe:  Now, I love to cook so I was willing to follow the recipe. If you don't have the time or wish to take a shortcut, Zatarain's gumbo mix works well to achieve the effect, too.  I added cornbread muffins and bloody marys with shrimp to cap off the menu to match the theme.

The final touch was to bring a handful of beads we caught during the actual Mardi Gras from the year before along with a couple of party favors.  As you can see, they played along well and really go into the spirit of the day.

The best part of this event was that we could prepare all the food the day before and that we really only had to transport one pot with the gumbo in it.

 Simple, quick cleanup, and portable! Our parents never had to leave home but they were transported to Louisiana by the created environment.

Getting the Elderly Out of the House to Enjoy the Holidays

Wisconsin's bitterly cold nights do not make stepping out an easy task for the elderly.  There are some great events to experience but special care needs to be taken to 1) keep the parents warm and comfortable and 2) limit walking and standing while still getting to enjoy the holiday events around the community.

Here is how we achieved that this season.

The first was enjoying a night holiday parade in their hometown.  With floats lit up and marching bands playing Christmas tunes, we knew this would be something they would enjoy, if only we could make it convenient.

First, we packed the car full of warmth.  We loaded camping chairs, three queen sized comforters, hats, scarves, and gloves.

I also made a thermos of hot chocolate and spiked it with butterscotch schnopps to warm them from the inside out.

Next, I brought glowsticks that I turned into necklaces just to add color to the festivities.

Lastly, we fashioned a plan to prevent a bunch of walking.  I drove within 10 feet of the parade route and dropped them off.  My partner set up the chairs and blankets and got them settled in for the show. I rejoined the group and added the hats, scarves, gloves, necklaces, then made sure the blankets were tucked in tight.  Once that was situated, I poured the hot chocolate.  Mom and Dad said they hadn't seen the night parade in at least twenty years so they appreciated what a treat it was to be warm and get to enjoy a cold winter's holiday night parade again.  Mom is up for anything but Dad is the one who needs to be sold an idea.  He has come to blindly trust anything we suggest knowing that we have their comfort and best interest in mind.  This makes for some really memorable days. These two are really gems.  I tell them all the time that they are so fun to play with!

 Another fun and easy thing to do on the cold winter nights before Christmas is to take a self-guided Griswold lights tour in your neighborhood.  Where we live there are few house around the city that are over-the-top each year with lights.  Each house is quite a site!  The variety, magnitude, and the extreme colors stimulate older (and younger!) minds.  To see everything it takes about 10 minutes at each  stop to absorb what is going on at these places. So, we load up the folks and head to these houses for a light show.  About an hour of this is all they care to see so the timing here is just right for something to do.

Finally, our Botanical Gardens puts up a light display every year that grows, changes, and evolves.  While the path is an easy walk, it is cold, it is dark, there is usually a crowd of people to navigate through, and the surface is slightly uneven or slippery, depending on if there is snow.  So, to get around this, a horse drawn carriage ride is offered for an additional $5.  Since Mom and Dad can still get around remarkably well for 86, they easily boarded the carriage for the light tour.  Though the ride makes for a really quick event (about 10 minutes to ride through the display), it means they don't have to dress as bulky as they would if they were walking.  The light show is so stimulating for the elderly and as predicted, they were delighted to experience this holiday show with us.

An Italian Themed Day-cation For The Parents

  

Keeping octogenarians entertained and engaged can sometimes be a challenge when work, naps, distance, money, and weather enter into the picture.

I came up with this idea to hi-jack them for an afternoon and pretend we were in Italy. Me and my partner both had the day off from work during the week and we wanted a weekend alone. So, we concocted a plan to entertain them on a Friday so that the standing Saturday morning breakfast could be skipped.  You see, my partner is a nurse who works from 2pm to 10:30pm; I work days.  We are constantly on opposite shifts except for every-other weekend when he has two days off together while I am also off.

The experience is one that the parents STILL talk about and relive as a happy memory.  Here is how we planned the day:


1) Me and my partner agreed to use a day of vacation to pull this off and selected the date.

2) I found an authentic Italian restaurant in a neighboring city about 30 miles from home. Great food reviews.  I also double-checked their hours of a late lunch option so that the place would be less crowded.

3) I created an invitation using Microsoft Word. I took a photo of a Venice, Italy canal and gondola and used that backdrop as the front of my invitation. The inside spelled out simply instructions and helped to ease concerns and set expectations for time, apparel, etc.  (See photos)  I mailed the invitation on Monday so that it arrived by mail on Tuesday.  Retired folks like to plan ahead and think about what they will be doing.  The invite include the day, time, and the Italian Day-cation theme, but we specifically left off the name of the restaurant or what we'd be doing for the afternoon.

4) I hand addressed the envelope and put Italian stickers like postage marks, Leaning Tower of Pisa, Roma, etc. all over the envelope so that it was loud and obnoxious, not to be missed in their stack of junkmail.

5) Throughout the week I burned a cd for the car with mostly Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin.  The plan was the have the car turned on and Sinatra playing as they entered the vehicle. Who of that era doesn't love THAT kind of music!

6) On the day of the Day-cation we dressed well and made a pit-stop at the liquor store on the way to grab a bottle of Italian vino to leave behind after we went home.

Here is where it gets cheesy.  My parnter's parents are still pretty sharp and have a great sense of humor, so we used that to enhance the atmosphere. Upon arrival we both spoke in the best fake Italian accents that we could muster for the duration of our afternoon.  We assumed the Italian sounding names and played the part.  We had a lot of laughs.

Once at the restaurant and after ordering lunch, I whipped out a family Crossword puzzle that I created with questions, clues, and answers customized specifically all about their family. Dad is just crazy about crossword puzzles so I figured this was an excellent way to keep them occupied until some of the din of the lunch crowd died down and the background noise diminished.  (I created the free puzzle here http://bit.ly/USmuRB).  The parents had never had "real" Italian food before so everything that was ordered was a new experience for  them.


After we left the restaurant we chauffeured them a few miles away to a high-end, incredible chocolatier. With chandeliers dripping from the ceiling and jewelcases filled with faceted truffles, this place made the couple a little squeemish!  LOL  -- These simple, kind folks are not fancy people so they were perfectly comfortable leaving this place just as soon as we entered. We stayed only long enough for one of them to use the restroom and me to load up on my favorite chocolates there.

Once we arrived back at the ranch we worked as a team on the rest of the crossword puzzle. Clearly, with 40 clues I did succeed at making the puzzle challenging enough.

By four O'clock Mom was ready for a nap and Dad was happy to sit in his chair reading in the peace and quiet. Both parents were tickled with leaving the country for the afternoon in their own back yard. It was a very fun day!

Do you have ideas that you have used to make life meaningful for your elderly parents? We'd love to hear your ideas!